A Journey Beyond Fear!

 Fear: A poem by Khalil Gibran

 

I suppose one of the things about learning about fear, is that there is always more. I’ve known some of this in my life. Fear of failure, fear of rejection or fear that we’re just not enough – fear is a common current that runs through all of our lives.  The kind of fear that tenses my body. This fear is deeply rooted in our human psyche. We fear change because it threatens to dissolve the boundaries of who we think we are. We fear losing control, losing our sense of self, and becoming part of something we cannot comprehend. Recently I came across the Poem “Fear” By Kahlil Gibran However, Gibran reminds us that this fear is an illusion.

Khalil Gibran's poem ‘Fear’ is a simple and short poem, but it has a powerful message useful to our life.In this poem Khalil Gibran expresses his philosophical views to overcome fear in our lives. Through this poem, the Poet sends a powerful message to the generations of human beings who fear losing their Identity, fear to accept the changes and fear to face the challenges of life.

The poem “Fear” traces a river’s ultimate journey into the ocean The trembling river standing at the edge of the ocean is a perfect metaphor for the human experience of facing the unknown. It is a moment of hesitation that we all encounter when life invites us to grow beyond the boundaries of what we know.

The River's Journey:

 

The river’s journey mirrors our own life experiences, filled with challenges, growth, and familiar paths to overcome this fear, the river must take the risk of entering the ocean. It cannot go back; the journey forward is the only option. This act of courage is where transformation begins. By embracing the unknown, the river discovers that it does not disappear; instead, it becomes part of the ocean.

The Ocean's Vastness:

The ocean symbolizes the unknown, the future, and the potential for growth that lies beyond our comfort zones.

 In this merging, it finds a new existence, a greater wholeness, and a profound sense of belonging. The little river has come a long way. She recognizes now that those paths she took all her life were easy. Those routes looked difficult then, but now looking back, she realizes with pride how she traversed. We look back at our lives and see the paths we have taken, the challenges we have overcome, and the beauty we have created.  It’s about realizing that when we take the risk to move forward despite our fears, we open ourselves to new possibilities and greater depths of experience.

Gibran's message is that the river doesn't disappear into the ocean; it transforms, becoming part of something greater. This mirrors how embracing the unknown can lead to personal growth and a But Gibran’s wisdom turns fear on its head. He teaches us that entering the ocean is not about disappearing but about becoming something infinitely greater.

Overcoming Fear: The river's decision to merge with the ocean highlights the importance of taking risks and embracing change to overcome fear and unlock new possibilities.

The river does not vanish; it transforms. It merges with the ocean and becomes part of something boundless and eternal. This is a lesson in trust; trusting the process of life, trusting the unknown, and trusting ourselves. We cannot go back. When we take the risk to merge with the unknown, we do not disappear. We become. And in becoming, we find that we are not small streams or separate rivers but the ocean itself; limitless, eternal, and whole.

As we journey through life…all the hesitation, the decision making, the looking back on what should’ve been or could’ve been. And yet some decisions are already made for us. We go forward not backwards. The river has no choice but to join the mighty sea, we don’t have a choice but to move forward and change what we feel need to be changed, embrace the rest and at the same time honour our past accept the gift that is the present and join the mighty sea that is the future. A tribute to overcoming the grasp of Fear...and moving...Forward...with Trust and Confidence!!

 

 

My Thyroidectomy Experience

All is well that ends well! Past one and half years I didn’t post anything. My health is not so good Last week only Doctors gave me clean chit that I am free from all diseases. I am so happy to hear that word. In past six months my life turn upside down I had a rebirth not once thrice. I had two major surgery in my neck then corona.  Here I am sharing my Experience.

What is a thyroid?

Sitting at the front of the neck below the Adam’s apple, this tiny butterfly-shaped gland has a huge impact on our life as it produces hormones that regulate our body’s vital functions including metabolism, growth, development, mood and fertility and affecting many of the body’s most important organs, including the heart, brain, liver, kidneys and skin.

Your thyroid plays a crucial role in so many of your body’s systems, but how much do you know about the little gland that has such a huge responsibility in your health and well-being? After my experience it’s the perfect time to learn more about this small but mighty organ and the importance knowing what to look for to ensure your thyroid is functioning as it should.

My Thyroidectomy Experience:

I had a tumour growth in my thyroid gland began in last July. My diagnosis came about from an almost an incidental finding. I had had a ‘feeling’ there was something wrong with my neck for over a year and numerous symptoms which I now know indicate thyroid cancer. When I noticed a persistent ache under my jaw, I assumed I was suffering from dental pain. My dentist identified a slight swelling in my neck and suggested that I had strained a neck muscle.

When the ache refused to go away, my dentist advised to do USG... I had the scan on last Aug which showed a suspicious nodule attached to my right thyroid lobe and advised for further investigation. In the meantime I can see small lump near right collar bone along with swollen neck and pain spread to right shoulder and till my right breast .I started worrying about the pain. My family  Dr advised to do Thyroid Nuclear Scan. After 3 days report came with Cold nodule in right lobe of Thyroid. Report Advised to do FNAC. (A cold nodule is a thyroid nodule that does not produce thyroid hormone. On a radioactive iodine uptake test a cold nodule takes up less radioactive material than the surrounding thyroid tissue. A cold nodule may be malignant or benign.). Till then I am very blank about thyroid I thought Dr will prescribe medicine and I will be alright. Without suggesting any medicine after seeing this Report My Dr is serious. He advised to do immediately FNAC.

Fine Needle Aspiration Cytology (FNAC): A thyroid fine needle aspiration biopsy is a procedure that removes a small sample of tissue from your thyroid gland. Cells are removed through a small, hollow needle. The sample is sent to the lab for analysis. For me It done 3 times two times in September   then after 6 weeks November end it done. Report came as Suspicious of Follicular /Hurthlecell Neoplasam.

The experience of the FNA is more painful. Directly they injected needle  into the thyroid area and to remove some cells for testing. It was painful experience and feel uncomfortable. The wait for the results was much worse. The results came back as thy, no cancer cells was detected in the sample however the cells present were abnormal.

After seeing the report He advised surgery that to you need good hand of Dr.(That means you'll want a highly qualified surgeon to perform the procedure.)

Totally we are blank whom to approach where to find dr? Nothing we don’t know. I send my reports to known persons .but no one have the idea about this surgery. Here came one of my relative whom I met in marriage function is a Doctor and I discussed my problem. She came forward and send my reports to her colleagues .Within an hour I got message and got Drs appointment. Among the finest Neck Surgery Doctors in the city, Dr. Gouri Mam (Tata Memorial Hospital) is the best doctor for Oncosurgery.

We both went and met her she go through all my reports and spoke very kindly and gave me confidence and then advised to do few test in Tmh.

After seeing reports she confirmed my surgery date. Before that she advised to take pre anaesthesia test that is different department. They need to give OK certificate. Therefore a partial thyroidectomy was advised by my Dr.GouriMam
 

This news was hard to digest. I have always had a major fear my every waking day was spent feeling dread and of the verge of tears, I wasn't sleeping and struggling to eat. I had the surgery on December 24th it underwent 5 hrs. and I kept in ICU for 9 hrs. The operation was successful, though, in the theirs words, ‘challenging’: a large growth was removed from my thyroid gland as well as one of the lobes of the gland itself.

 

 I had my drain taken out the next morning, which was unpleasant but manageable. the pain was minimal and controlled easily by paracetamol .My wound was held together by staples which is pretty shocking to look at to begin with but three days later to have the staples removed. The wound is red and swollen still but very neat I recovered well I discharged from the hospital  after 5 days, the worst bit of it all was the staying in hospital

 

I am waiting for the results of the biopsy test.but I am calm and keeping myself and feed a positive mind. Reports showed that the growth was cancerous: Hurthle cell carcinoma. A second operation would be required to remove the rest of the thyroid gland.

The diagnosis that followed, together with all the information about the necessary course of treatment, was a lot to take in. The thyroidectomy showed that The Doctor explained to me that I would need radioactive iodine treatment after surgery, to destroy any remaining cancerous cells. I would also need to take thyroxine for the rest of my life. Before I could fully digest this news, I found myself preparing for the second surgical procedure. I was really scared about second surgery tat to in same place. My whole family were in shock hard to digest. My second surgery held on March 12th. After my relatively swift recovery from the first operation, it took longer to recover from the second, a total thyroidectomy. This operation became bit serious again I kept in ICU my oxy and pulse went down and I had low-grade fever and operated place bulge made worrisome to Drs. Continuous injections , medicine and Care made me Normal and discharged after 6 days.One happy note my second biopsy test is normal.

For several weeks after surgery, I experienced pain in my neck and felt very tired. Keeping to the prescribed low iodine diet before the radioactive iodine treatment wasn’t too problematic, though I really disliked the isolation in one room once the treatment began.

The overwhelmingly positive news that I received after the uptake scan On April 9th  , however, was that the cancerous cells had not spread and that the RAI treatment had been effective in eliminating the remaining thyroid cells.

If I’m honest, my experience of thyroid cancer and its treatment was sometimes frightening and often exhausting. The diagnosis was a shock, the gravity of which didn’t completely hit me until after the second operation. Beyond the discomfort of the surgery, I simply wanted to know how long the treatment would take and when I would be able to return to ‘normal’ life.

For me, the best way to do this was to gather as much of the right information as possible, I think the best way of doing this is to speak to someone who has gone through the same thing. , I had a wonderful family supporting me and excellent doctors but I still felt very isolated and lonely at times, no-one I knew had even heard of thyroid cancer, radioactive iodine, treatment in isolation, challenge scans, becoming hypothyroid for scans and treatment, let alone experienced it.

But unfortunately after my scan I got corona that was worst experience than ever. I had very high temperature with low oxy level .I thought I am going to die.I am in semi-conscious state for twenty days. As mentioned earlier, I had a wonderful family supporting me and excellent doctors saved me once again.

Over the course of the treatment I tried to find strategies for coping. I was determined to stay as positive as possible, despite doubts and anxieties. I found it important to keep my illness in perspective, knowing from the outset that the prognosis for a full recovery was very good. I am incredibly grateful to all the doctors team who treated me and made my return to health possible. While things seemed pretty grim just a few months ago, I can now look forward to making the most of life and realizing long-held ambitions.

I am also indebted to my family and friends whose support was invaluable in so many ways. I am enjoying life to the full now and am more fulfilled personally than I have ever been.

 There is a great deal of fear and anxiety that comes along with a thyroid cancer diagnosis, but with early detection and modern advancement in treatment technology along with proper patient education and appropriate care, excellent treatment outcomes are likely good.

I wanted to post on here my experience so far in the hope that it may help and give reassurance to others in a similar situation. If our journey can help someone else and make it a little easier, then that’s what counts!

Forgive And Forget

Life is a weird thing, we have few relationships that are important to us and we fail to maintain them the way we would like - without PAIN, without TEARS, without DISAPPOINTMENTS... Relationships or Friendship is all about hurting, being hurt, forgiving, forgetting, being hurt again, As humans we have an infinite capacity to hurt one another — sometimes intentionally, but sometimes accidentally, through carelessness or circumstance There are number of instances in life when people hurt us, either with their actions or with their words.

What would you do if you feel cheated, ignored or neglected by your partner in any relationship whether it be romance,friendship or marriage life? You Feel betrayed, angry, hurt, and frustrated, along with a myriad of other feelings. We’ve all got painful memories and emotions tucked away deep inside. When I was young, Our own relatives betrayed my family. I was very emotionally hurt And often I found it hard to forgive I had intense anger in myheart for someone who hurt me recently or long ago.

I have hoping that people I love and care about really do feel they are important. Because if I fail I might lose them once and forever. And that is something I would never be able to bear because these people are my strength and my life. So, I hold every person close to my heart. Sometimes I get emotional, Sometimes things happen that we would prefer to avoid.

I have been hurt by someone very close to me. The words can not explain what I feel .But I am broken inside. I knew something would go wrong... Not waiting to be hurt again I hurt myself in the most unjust way. Not wanting to be hurt again I direct the pain. To strike me in the most painful way. and I know that I need to forgive that person, but it is easier said than done.

Keeping in mind what my parents always said. It is about 'Forgive and Forget' Which I practice very perfect... I never keep hatred in my chest, because it will cause me a burden of stress. It is like an acid which is strong and erosive, It will turn my mind violent and aggressive.When I forget, I forget it totally complete, Like clicking the mouse on the button 'DELETE'

I encourage you to read Tyler's thoughts here:
When you haven't forgiven those who've hurt you, you turn your back against your future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward.

Is it possible to truly forgive all transgressions?

How do you forgive someone who physically abused you when you were a child?

How do you forgive someone who raped you or a family member?

How do you forgive someone who spread vicious and humiliating lies about you?

How do you forgive parents who put their own needs and egos way ahead of your basic emotional needs as a child?

How do you forgive a parent who left you when you were young?

How do you forgive someone who has sucked the joy out of your life through his or her negative, hypocritical, phony, lazy, selfish, and ill-tempered behavior over 30 years of marriage?

I really don't have a clue how you can truly forgive others for any of the above. Maybe complete forgiveness is impossible in some cases. You don't have to make it known to the people who hurt you that you have forgiven them. Refusing to forgive and forget and seeking vengeance makes you look petty and small.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." -Mahatma Ghandi - Simply stated, the ability to forgive is a sign of strength.

Unless we learn how to forget past sins, we will always live in that past. Bitterness or guilt will continue to eat away at us like a cancer. Forgive and be forgiven. And then forget it. This is the secret of spiritual health. Keep short accounts with God and men.'Forgive and Forget' is an easy task, I don't need anybody to ask. For....giving, I give love, sympathy and understanding. For....getting, I get peace of mind as a God's blessing. Not only peace but also pleasure in my mind..